april the 12th.seems like a long time ago, but was merely half a year. one more month and finally army ‘daze’ comes to an end. emotional?sentimental?nehhhhhh, miss the people, probably, miss army?not really. I guess 1 year 10months was neither a short nor a very long time, things happen, people change, people grow up, likewise for me, more serious, looking old, no longer the wimp i used to be (i hope). Having responsibilities and making decisions do make people think differently, and i dare say thats what i have learnt in my 2 years, learning how to make appropriate decisions, be it a right or a wrong, be it a popular or not one, one must always be moving forward, and i strongly believe that everyday, tough decisions are made but regardless the consequence, i am moving forward, i am learning, i am growing.
well i have been thinking, why am constantly apologising to you?im insensitive?i dont understand you?im different?im still not at the level to assure and make you feel secure?i dont know, i have no answer.many of times, it was never my intention to argue with you, but you always link me to a very negative impression that i’ve given you, something i have been trying to get it out of your head, but seems like all the time i’ve been mistaken, misunderstood, and never was i able to get it off your mind.i know i cannot be there for you when you need someone, i know you always feel that im sleepy, bored, i know, many people out there can replace me anytime, i know i may not be the ideal guy you want, but then again, i am not complaining, what mum always says ‘what is meant for you will be meant for you’, im not stopping you if you do find a better person, i have no rights to interfere, so as long as you are happy, ~the biggest sacrifice is when one sees his loved ones happy. “Rmb, ure free to date/go out with any1:) n im sincere about it” – sets me to think if there are any hidden intentions/meaning to this statement.ohwell, for the time being, i guess i just have to suck things up and sulk over it myself.
back to my world of idling, finally found something i hope to accomplish before i start school – learn how to cook. so for now before a much better 2009-than-2008-was comes to an end, i shall enjoy my last bit of freedom floating around and next year, back to reality. study sucks, but work sucks even more. i guess growing up in singapore wasnt that a good thing after all…HAHA.
ORD LOH!!!!
